Chapter 2: Padding? Already?!?

Chapter 2

I want to open this week with a discussion on padding. Padding is the practice of increasing your word count by adding portions of your book which don’t contribute to the story, and that exist solely for that purpose. It can be argued that no scene involving the main characters or recurring secondary characters qualifies as padding, as by their nature they increase the reader’s knowledge of said characters and thus fill the purpose of rounding them out. For instance, a scene of the main characters in a dungeon-crawl based novel crashing in a tavern, hanging out with each other and getting drunk is probably not going to progress the main plot or any of the side plots, with the possible exception of the romance sideplot. However, since it shows us how the characters act in a situation outside of the norm it helps make them more three-dimensional.

Even scenes that simply take place in new locations help us get a feel for the world the author has created, arguably giving a scene value by world-building. In some instances the author gets carried away with this (LOTR is guilty of this), giving us a lot of scenes that can be cut without adversely affecting the story, but that doesn’t make them filler as they still have the purpose of expanding the fantasy world.

The Elder Gods second chapter opens with what could charitably be called a ‘get-to-know-you’ scene, Once again in the grotto where Zelana has made her home. We don’t get much of a description beyond ‘the ceiling is made of rose quartz and it can only be accessed by water’, but it’s a cave so you can’t expect anything too interesting. Sure Zelana has lived there for literally eons, but apparently she’s been happily composing poetry and music all that time and so has kept herself entertained. Yes, that’s how she has spent all that time she was hiding from her duties as the guardian of the west… I think. It’s never really explained if the gods and goddesses HAVE any duties or purpose, they just… are.

Anyway, next page we find out that apparently Eleria is apparently a very fast learner and has gotten the habit of kissing dolphins until they do what she wants. Pardon me for a moment, I need to go and pistol-whip myself into a coma.

Ouch… Anyway, we find out that Eleria has picked up godspeak in addition to the language of the dolphins, though unlike some cosmologies this language is just used to communicate and holds no special power. As a result, events in a few chapters will make this development, SPOILERS!!! COMPLETELY POINTLESS!!!

Oh, and we get my favorite line so far: “A wave of emotion swept over Zelana, and she felt her own eyes clouding over.” To be fair my eyes are clouding over as well, a cerebral hemorrhage will do that. WHAT EMOTION?!? CONTEXT, USE IT!!!

Sorry, I failed my sanity check. Give me a moment to get my meds.

I am perfectly fine now, and most definitely not a robot created to review in the Irate Reader’s place. We are introduced to an obvious plot device in the form of a large magic pearl. It is given to Eleria by the incarnation of mother sea in the form of a giant whale. We get a dream sequence that shows the start of the world, which does not progress the plot. However, the dream also does not provide character development. It also does not provide new setting information.

The dream has no purpose. Therefore my reading it had no purpose. Therefore I have no purpose.

Self destruct initiated.

Aaand that’ll teach me for buying a discount review bot. Sorry folks, I overdosed on the meds and slipped into a bit of a coma so the emergency review bot took over. Looks like I’m going to have to do some repairs, so I’ll quickly sum up: This chapter could have had the important parts placed compressed into a single paragraph at the start of the next chapter without hurting the story. Honestly, it could have been cut and the only real effect would have been to reduce the wordcount on the book. The character attributes it develops are never mentioned again, the dream’s little exposition is stuff that has already been told to us and is primarily to demonstrate that Eleria is a dreamer, which was outright told to us last chapter. The plot point of the magic pearl has an equivalent for each of the dreamers, but feels completely unnecessary in the context of the story. Oh, there’s a tiny bit of clumsy foreshadowing which anyone who can count up to eight has already worked out by this point. Untwist: The dreamers are the next shift of gods! Which of course makes the need for the magic pearl even more confusing. Oh well, let’s go out with the filler song, just to keep my word count up:

(To be sung off key, with no discernible tune. I have no illusions about my musical ability.)

Filler!

Wonderful filler!

Beautiful filler!

Makes writing a thriller

That much chiller!

Filler!

It’s a killer!

Filler!

Thank you very much.